XMen Randomness
by StraightJacket xD
Summary: Wolverine returns to the mansion. Randomness follows him. T just to be safe. OneShot


A/N this is my first fanfic so be gentle.

Disclaimer : I dont own Xmen Evolution, Marvel Does. I do own a rather comfortable pair of shoes though.

!WARNING! : contains randomness, little bit of Kubitha (Kurt/Tabitha)and one swear word :O (How Could I)

Wolverine awoke rather early. He was only 20 minutes away from the mansion but was to tired to cover the last part of his journey, so he set up camp in a small clearing and went to sleep . He pulled a small mirror out of his bag on the the back of bag and loooked at his reflection. "Oh man, Im gonna need a shave". He removed a can of shaving foam from his bag and started looking for his razor. After about 5 minutes he found it but it was broken. "Where am I gonna find a new razor out here. I cant go back to the mansion looking like this". As he sat thinking what to do when he remember he had metal claws. After coating his face with shaving foam, he unsheathed his middle claw and started to let it glide smoothly over his skin. He didnt even cut his skin once. "Hmm did a better job than the razor". He wiped the foam off his face, picked up his bag and started walking towards the mansion.

When he arrived he was greeted by Kitty. "Hey Mr Logan". "Hey Half-Pint" He let the Professor know he was back and was gonna stay for a while.

After he got himself settled in his room had stocked up on beer. Kurt teleported into his room. "Dude You have to hide me"."What, Why". "Its valentines day man, Boom Boom wants me to kiss her, i mean it is our first valentines day together, but that chick is mad" His door blew off its hinges and there stood said madwoman. " Hey Mr Logan have you seen Kurt anywhere." Logan couldnt resist the temptation and turned to her. "Yeah hes cowering in the corner behind my bed". BAMF! Kurt teleported outside the room and could hear Logans was swung around by the shoulders and locked lips with Tabitha. "I love you Kurt.". "I love you too Tabi" Kurt vowed to get revenge.

THE NEXT DAY

Logan was wandering in the garden when he heard Ororo call him over. "Would you be able to help me out, I cant quite reach the top half of the bush". Logan Jumped up and sliced off the the top of the bush with one fierce strike. "Thats not what I meant" Screamed Ororo and started throwing Lightning Bolts at him as he ran to the doors of the mansion for cover. "sometimes I wonder why I even offer to help these people".

He walked into the study and saw that Rouge was writing a letter. She was concentrating so much that he tried to slip away without being noticed. He could see the frustration on her face. As soon as she looked up she pressed down on the pencil snapping it. She looked at him with a face that said "run or die" but as much as he tried he couldnt open the door. instead he held up one hand with the middle claw unsheathed and smiled nervously. She stood up, walked towards him and started sharpening one end of the pencil on his claw. when it was sharp enough she turned and went back to her seat. He tried to open the door and Rouge looked up, "Pencil Sharpeners dont move". He took the hint and sat down on the couch. For the rest of the night he sat here. Unsheathing his claws whenever the pencil snapped. He was finally set free at dinner.

Kurt and Scott had driven to a chinese takeaway and bought everything they needed for tonight as Kitty had tried cooking earlier. Kitty discovered 2 hours in the oven doesnt work well for cakes. so she tried to hide it with icing. She ended up force feeding them to Beast who couldnt swallow it. After rooting throught the bag trying to find his chopsticks he realised that they didnt get enough so he unsheathed a claw on each hand and started fishing through his box of Lemon Chicken.

After dinner he cleaned his claws and left to go back to his room. When he entered his room he noticed a small television in the corner and walked over to it, after plugging it in, the screen remained black Logan decided it was a problem inside it. He unplugged it, turned it around and unscrewed the back of it off with one of his claws. He opened it up and discovered a small piece of loose metal that he slotted back into place. He re attached the back of it, screwed it together, plugged it in and turned it on. It was working so he changed the channel to NBC to watch My Name Is Earl. When the episode was finished he climbed into bed and was drifting off. BAMF! He felt something wet fall onto him, Then the lights turned on. BAMF! Logan looked down at himself and saw he had benn covered in pink paint. There was a small note that floated own onto his bed. "Payback's a Bitch. NightCrawler" That night one word could be heard being shouted through the hall of the Xavier Institute.

ELF!

The End

A/N2 I wasnt sure if unsheathed was the right word but i couldnt think of anythin else.

Thanks for Reading. Please Review. I Will give you an imaginary cookie :D


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